


The Twelve (Bad Dates) of Christmas

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: 25 Days of Damerey [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad dates, Check the chapter tags!, F/M, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Matchmaker Jessika, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Tinder, Unrequited Love, and they were ROOMMATES, eventual light smut, flangst, roommate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-14 07:44:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16908969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: Regrettably, Rey Kenobi lost a bet to her friend, Jessika.Now, she has to suffer through twelve terrible dates, right before Christmas. It wouldn't be so bad, if Rey didn't have to come home to her perfect, funny, gorgeous, kind roommate at the end of every failed, disastrous date. This wouldn't be so awful, if she didn't have such a crush on Poe Dameron, who's woefully out of her league, and is there to comfort her and cheer her up when yet another Tinder-bro sticks her with the check after talking about his gains all evening.There's no way this is going to end well.





	1. The First Eleven

**Author's Note:**

> Keep an eye out for not-so-unrequited love ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Also: one of Rey's dates (her eleventh/Hux) doesn't understand "no," and continues trying to kiss her at the end of their date. Rey is firm and clear with her "no," and she doesn't feel threatened by him (which we know because it's her POV), but still, wanna put that out there as a heads up!
> 
> As for the eventual smut - it will only be between Damerey, and will be mostly vague - but had to up the rating just to be safe! (Also, it will be totally contained to the end of Ch.2, if people want to skip it!)

 “You were being serious?”

Rey stares in horror at Jess, who smacks her gum cheerfully and nods, clutching Rey’s phone in her tiny, evil hands. “Yep.”

“No.” Rey shakes her head and tries to grab at the phone, but Jess manages to dodge out of the way. “Jess, c’mon, please? We were so drunk-”

“You should learn not to make bets when you’re drunk, girlie.” Jess cackles, flipping the phone so Rey can see that the app successfully downloaded. “It’s Tinder Time!”

“You’re a monster.”

“You bet your sweet ass I am.”

Jess plunks herself down on Rey’s bed and opens the app; Rey flails for a second and then settles next to her on the bed, popping her chin on Jessika’s shoulder. “You’re really going to make me do this?”

“Mhm.” Jess types in Rey’s information quickly as she nods. “Twelve dates in twelve days, baby.”

“Why twelve, again?” Rey scrunches her nose up. “ _Oh my God,_ I am not flirty _or_ fun! Change that!”

“Nope.” Jessika continues to type, and Rey reconsiders the very nice Christmas present that she got for her friend. “And it fits the season, y’know?”

“What does?” Rey looks up guiltily to see her roommate standing in her open doorway, having walked in just in time to hear Jess.

Poe Dameron, her roommate of a year, is studying the squabbling girls with an air of calculated nonchalance. He’s still in his flannel pajama bottoms - not that Rey can blame him, as Poe just finished a six day, 70 hour work week - and when he reaches up to scratch at his messy black curls, his Chandrila University sweatshirt rides up just the slightest, showing off a strip of golden-tan skin at his hip.

Rey very steadfastly ignores the way her mouth goes dry at the same time her stomach tightens. She’s good at ignoring things that would only be a nuisance later.

Luckily, Jess has no problem answering for both of them.

“I’m picking out Rey’s date, so she can feel the holiday l-o-o-ve.” Rey peeks down and sees that Jess is swiping right on literally Every. Single. Man. “She’s on Tinder, now.”

“Oh, is she?” Poe gives Rey a weird look, and she winces. She and Poe have had long conversations on the evils of dating apps; they both agree that while they’re both awful at dating, Tinder is a breeding ground for douchebags and negging and a whole host of everything bad about dating, and therefore, should be avoided like the plague.

“She is.” Rey says miserably. She wants to tell him that it’s all for a stupid bet she lost - and she can’t even _remember_ what she’d done to lose the bet, that’s how drunk she was, damnit Pava - but part of the bet is that she can’t tell anyone these dates are _for_ a bet. “Jess thinks I need a boyfriend.”

“Do you?” Poe quirks an eyebrow at Rey, who shrugs and tries not watch the terrifying plethora of bachelors sliding across her phone screen. “I thought you hated Tinder.”

“I do. But, it’s not like I’ve met a guy anywhere else.” That part is half-true. Rey’s met A Guy. Actually, she’s met plenty of _guys,_ but the one who actually makes her _feel_ something, the one who could be The Guy, is unfairly out of her league, and doesn’t see her that way. But, Rey tucks that thought away in a little box in her brain and considers smashing it with a hammer.

Again: she’s good at ignoring things that would only be a nuisance.

“That’s-” Whatever Poe’s going to say is lost by Jessika crowing.

“You got a date with Dan!” She shows Rey the photo briefly - he looks like a Ken Doll, blond and blue-eyed and he looks tall, somehow - and then bounces up to show Poe, beaming wildly. “Isn’t he cute?”

“When’s the date?” Poe’s still trying to wake up, clearly, because he’s squinting at Jess, and his cheeks are still tinged pink from sleep.

“Tonight.” Jessika pulls the phone back into her goblin hands to type out something. “Six hours from now! Hope you’re ready to bowl, Kenobi!”

“I hate bowling.” Rey flops down face-first on her bed, and when she resurfaces, Poe’s gone, and Jess is picking out an outfit for her.

***

Rey slams the door shut behind her and gags slightly at the stench of cigarettes and cheap food that lingers on her clothing. Chucking her bag viciously in the corner of the entrance, she doesn’t even bother taking her shoes off before stomping through the living room towards her bedroom.

“How was it?”

In her fury, she’d missed Poe sitting on the armchair that faces the front door; he’s got the book of Sudoku that Rey keeps stashed on the chair’s side table (which makes her frown because Poe hates Sudoku, at least, she thought he did), and a pencil in hand.

She considers teasing him that _real_ Sudoku players use pen, but thinks twice. Her trajectory changes, and Rey flops down on the couch and groans.

“That bad, huh?” His smile is crooked, and the lamplight casts fascinating shadows across his classically handsome features, and Rey should _not_ be focusing on any of that.

“So bad,” she reports dully, plunking her feet down on the low coffee table, the one that Poe built himself six months ago and is stupidly attractive (just like its maker).

“At least you look nice.” Rey shoots him a look. She’s wearing skinny jeans, a sweater, and Converse. She didn’t even put makeup on for this date, that’s how little she cared about David - Daniel? Maybe? - and his perception of her. To be fair, Rey doesn’t think there’s anyone in the world who could compel her to put makeup on. She is what she is; get used to it.

She snorts as she wildly imagines changing the flirty, bubbly bio that Jess wrote for her profile to “I am what I am; get used to it.” Poe smiles at her laugh, even though he has no idea what inspired it, and it makes her stomach flutter in a way that is damn unfair.

“It was so bad,” she repeats, pinching the top of her nose. “He asked if I wanted to ‘bone behind the lanes.’ Ugh.” Poe doesn’t laugh at her use of air quotes. If anything, he scowls. “Yeah, and the worst part is, that was probably the highlight of the evening.”

“...Was any part of it salvageable?” Poe asks, and it’s odd, it sounds like he’s being careful in the words he chooses. Poe Dameron is kind to a fault, _and_ honest to a fault (a combination that makes for some interesting conversations and social missteps), so Rey can only imagine the tightrope he’s walking right now.

“The curly fries were good.” She feels a bubble of gas forming even as she says it, and rubs her chest groaning. “I mean, going down, they were.”

“Are you still hungry?”

Rey’s about to answer _no, of course not,_ but weirdly enough, she is kinda hungry, no matter what havoc the curly fries are wreaking on her system.

“...Yes.”

“I got subs from the place you like.” Poe stands from the armchair and tosses the Sudoku book away from him. “Saved you a meatball.”

“You didn’t.” Rey turns and watches him walk to the fridge. Poe emerges with a wrapped sandwich in hand, and Rey’s mouth starts to water. “Oh my _God,_ I-” She stops herself from saying _I love you,_ even though she’s said to friends in the past, because Rey _does_ love her friends, but it feels weird, like, weird-weird to say it to Poe. “I can’t believe you, sometimes.”

“What do you mean?” Poe settles on the couch next to her, instead of on the armchair, and clicks the television on. “What do you wanna watch?”

Rey grabs the sub from him and opens it eagerly. “You’re just so” - she gestures hopelessly to him - “Kind. Wonderful. I don’t deserve you. And I don’t care, you pick.”

She inhales the scent of her sub and moans obscenely. Poe flips through their recorded shows, and he settles on _The Good Place._ His cheeks are bright pink again, and she can’t figure out why. When he catches her staring at him, he startles. “You probably want that heated up, don’t you?” He points at the sub, and Rey cringes guiltily.

“Kinda.” He grins and takes it from her, standing up from the couch. “No, no, I can do it!”

“I was already getting up to go to the bathroom.”  Rey can’t argue with that, and she re-settles.

When Poe disappears into their guest bathroom, she lurches forward and snags the abandoned book of Sudoku puzzles, fully intending on teasing him for whatever he got wrong on the one he was working on when she walked in - Rey’s much more of a numbers person than he is, something they often joke about (Not that he does a lot of math as a zookeeper, and Rey’s entire job _is_ numbers).

Flipping through, she frowns - not a single puzzle is in pencil, and the only ones that are completed are in her handwriting. Tossing the book back into place, she tries to smooth out the frown she’s wearing by the time Poe comes out of the bathroom, and returns from the microwave with her sub.

He hits play on the show, and after a minute, he gives her a weird look. “You know, I washed my hands in the bathroom.” He nods at the plate she’s holding when she looks at him, confused. “You can eat it, it’s safe.”

“Oh, right.” Rey laughs awkwardly and takes a bite. “Ohhhh, fuck, that’s good,” she moans around her mouthful of meatball.

***

Her date with Tim is just as bad.

It’s two nights after the Bowling Alley Fiasco of ‘18, and Rey returns to the apartment, rubbing her temples, and trying not to rub her ass from where she wiped out spectacularly on the ice.

Poe’s on the couch this time, already six episodes deep into his _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_ binge. “Wanna talk about it?” He asks as she settles down next to him.

“No.” Rey scowls and then, an episode later, grabs one of the pillows, plops it against Poe’s side, and cuddles up next to him, her head against his hip.

They’ve sat like this a number of times, a countless amount, really, and when Poe’s fingers come down to comb through her hair, Rey closes her eyes in bliss and tries not to focus on how right this feels.

She wakes up two hours later, and _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_ is still playing. Poe’s right where she left him, right next to her, his arm now draped over the back of the couch. Rey should let him know that she’s awake, so he knows he can move without disturbing her (because he’s kind like that), but Rey is selfish, and she’s warm and comfortable and something worrisomely close to happy, so she holds off, just for a few minutes more.

***

Rey doesn’t even make it through her date with Mike. He offers his opinion on reproductive rights a little too freely, and Rey storms off, muttering angrily to herself. She walks the entire five miles home to her apartment, and when she kicks the door shut behind her, Poe walks out of his bedroom, looking worried, his phone clutched in his hand.

“You didn’t” - he holds up his phone, eyes frantic - “Pick up.”

“What?” Rey slips her coat off and hangs it up in the closet. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry!” She grabs her phone from her purse and sees no less than ten missed calls from Poe, three from Jess, and eighteen (!) from Finn. Poe strides across the apartment towards her, still a little wild-looking. “I got so angry with him - I mean, I’ve met assholes before, but this guy, ugh, I could have strangled him! So, I walked back because I wanted to cool off, and--”

Rey’s cut off by Poe’s arms around her, and he buries his face in her neck. “I thought,” his voice is shaky in a way she’s never heard, “Something had happened to you.”

“Oh.” She should have been paying more attention to her phone, Rey knows that. Or at least texted someone with an update. God, this whole thing is so - “That was stupid of me. I’m really sorry.” She rubs Poe’s back comfortingly, and his arms tighten around her, his breathing still a little...off.

“I hate you going on these dates,” he mutters into her shirt, and Rey frowns at that, even as her heart skips a beat. _Is that because_ \- “Tinder is such a shit show, and there’s a lot of creeps out there.”

“You’d prefer I find dates the old-fashioned way? By hanging out in bars?” Rey can’t help but sound amused, even if her heart twinges in an unfixable kind of way. Serves her right for getting her hopes up for two milliseconds. “Because I’m pretty sure serial killers go to bars, too.”

“That’s not funny.” She can feel him scowl, even though she can’t see his face.

“It’s not. I’m sorry.” She pats his back again, and steps out of the hug before she does something stupid, like ask him on a date. “Do you wanna watch something?”

Poe’s face is still a little terrifyingly intense, but he nods, and his expression clears after crossing over into something almost upset. “Yeah, sounds good.”

They sit at opposite ends of the couch, and Rey does not analyze why that feels like a step back.

***

If Dan, Tim, and Mike sucked, Rey doesn’t really have a word for Bill.

Bill looks _nothing_ like his photo. He’s closer to fifty, has terrible breath, and makes weird jokes all night that Rey laughs along to, in the way that women laugh because the alternative might be getting yelled at, mocked, or worse.

They eat at a nice restaurant, and after they eat dessert - well, Bill eats dessert, a steeply priced cheesecake slice, and Rey avoids dessert because Poe made brownies last night and she’d rather eat those anyway - Bill heads to the bathroom.

The check comes by, and Rey pauses, her hand hovering over the bill. As bad as Dan, Tim, and Mike were, they either paid for the date, or split the bill with her, so she definitely doesn’t want to offend Bill by paying for their meal in his absence. He’s older - and Rey doesn’t mind older, after all, not when she’s considered how not a big deal almost a decade is, and _that’s a dangerous place for your brain to go to, Kenobi_ \- so he might be more old-fashioned, and might consider it a slight against his honor if she pays.

Five minutes pass, and then ten, and then fifteen. The waiter sits down across from her with a sigh, and Rey looks up in surprise.

“You don’t have to pay that.” The waiter shrugs. “Your date was a total asshole. Also, uh, one of the busboys told me they saw him leaving about fifteen minutes ago.”

“Oh my God.” Rey sits there for a second before she bursts out laughing. “No. _Thank_ God. Imagine if he’d stuck around! I’d have to talk to him.” The waiter laughs with her, clearly relieved that she isn’t crying.

Rey pays the bill and tips 40%, and resolves to not go to a restaurant on the next eight dates.

When she gets home, Poe’s terribly offended on her behalf, and even lists a dozen qualities of Rey that would make “any guy lucky to have her!” and it’s sweet, but in a bitter, painful way.

***

“Let me tell you about Rian.” Rey hangs up her coat and walks in, already laughing about this date. “And it’s Rian with an ‘i’, mind you.” Poe’s at the kitchen counter, eating a late night snack of Cap’n Crunch.

“That’s a pretty great start to the story,” Poe says with a mouthful of cereal.

“Oh, yeah. So, let me tell you about Rian. Rian’s favorite movies are by Tarantino.” She pops up on the other stool and drags the box of cereal towards her, and shovels a handful of dry cereal into her mouth. “You might not have heard of him.”

“No.” Poe sets his spoon down and grins at her in disbelief.

“Oh, yes.” Rey takes another handful of cereal - shaking her head when Poe offers to get her a bowl and milk - and crunches on it happily. “He loves Tarantino, thinks the modern _Star Trek_ remakes are better than the _Original Series_ \- which he hasn’t even seen, mind you - and loves women. He’s a big feminist. Did you know that?”

“Rian’s a feminist.” Poe shrugs and loads up his spoon. “It only makes sense that he would tell you that.”

“In fact,” Rey’s having a great time now. “Rian is such a feminist, he told me. Fifteen times. Even though it was already in his bio!”

“Ugh.” Poe makes a scrunched-up face that is impossibly endearing. “Why did you even, you know” - he swipes vaguely in the air, like he’s flipping through Tinder.

Rey wants to tell him that it’s for the bet, but Jess had promised some unholy things if she broke the sacred bonds of their gamble. So, she shrugs vaguely.

“I guess I’m just trying new things.”

Poe nods, but his expression is unreadable.

The cereal sits oddly in Rey’s stomach after that.

***

It’s not even worth thinking about Peter.

She and Poe go to an all-night diner when she comes home from that date - Peter was vegan, and had made such a stink when Rey expressed an interest in a grilled cheese, that she ended up eating rabbit food, stabbing her salad with her fork, and envisioning Peter’s face for each little piece of spinach she speared.

Rey orders three chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream and extra crispy bacon on the side.

Poe lets her finish his patty melt.

***

Werther - because that’s a name, apparently - might be part of a cult.

She calls Finn while Werther’s in the bathroom, and Finn comes to rescue her hastily, concocting a made-up emergency that gets her way from the cult recruiter.

They end up at a cafe, and Finn gives her a long, searching look over their coffee.

“Peanut,” he says carefully, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “How long have we been friends?”

They’re 25 now, and they’ve been friends, more like siblings, since Rey’s senior year of high school, when her great-uncle Ben discovered that Finn was in a bad situation, and took him on as a foster son. It changed the entire direction of Finn’s life, and now Finn was a history teacher, and had a fabulous girlfriend whom Rey loved very much.

“Seven years?”

“Mhm.” Finn picks up his coffee and takes a measured sip. “So I know when something’s up.” He sighs. “Also, Poe told me you’ve been on like, eight dates in the last ten days.”

“Six,” Rey corrects automatically because yeah, she’s counting down. She _wishes_ it were eight. She’d be two dates closer to being done with this damn thing.

“Six dates,” Finn says, eyebrows raised. “You realize that’s more dates than you’ve been on in the last three years combined, right?”

“I know.” Rey mutters, glaring at her coffee. “I just - maybe I’m tired of being alone.”

“You aren’t alone,” Finn says automatically. “You aren’t.”

Rey sighs heavily, but she can’t tell Finn. But, she can confirm something he’s hinted at for a year now.

“I can’t do it anymore.” She traces her coffee cup’s rim slowly. “It - living with him - I...I need to distract myself because it’s not like him and me could ever...like _he_ would ever…” Rey trails off, her face burning. Finn’s the person she’s closest to on this planet, now that her Uncle Ben is gone, and she can barely tell him she has a crush on her roommate. Pathetic.

“But what if he did?”

Rey rolls her eyes and snorts. “Yeah, right.” She taps her fingers on the table, avoiding Finn’s pointed expression. “So, you’re proposing? That’s exciting!”

Finn reluctantly allows the change in conversation, and a few minutes later, he’s giggling so much, Rey doubts he remembers what they were talking about in the first place.

***

Sam asks her what size shoe she wears, staring at her feet the whole time.

Rey thinks they set a record for world’s shortest date.

***

Erik can’t stop staring at her chest - and Rey wants to blame the Ugly Christmas sweater she’s wearing, as it’s December 18th, and she wanted to be a little festive, but after an hour of him making eye contact with Rudolph, Rey calls it quits.

***

Four hours later, Marc asks her if she’s up for a threesome about a minute after she sits down across from him at the coffee house.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Rey says, already grabbing her purse and pulling her coat on.

“Shit, really?” Marc grins lecherously at her, and Rey stands up, rolling her eyes.

“No.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “Idiot.”

***

Rey slouches in the front door, date ten in the books and recorded for posterity (really, she’s been keeping track in her diary, usually with as many screaming emojis as she can think of).

“Sunshine?” Poe’s standing in the living room, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”

“Yeah.” Rey’s going to tell him. Right now. She can’t anymore. It’s December 20th, and she feels lousy as all hell, lying to her roommate. Lying about the dates (namely the reason for the dates), about how she feels about him. It’s time for the truth. “Carl was okay, I guess, but we didn’t really feel a connection.”

It’s a shame that a totally neutral date (boring, to be honest) is her best success yet. While this started out a mildly amusing irritation, Rey’s self esteem has taken a terrible hit over the last ten dates. Is this the kind of guy who’s attracted to her? Boring at best, skeezy on average, and predatory at worst?

“Hey, Poe.” Rey fidgets with the sleeves of her shirt, trying to summon the courage to finish the sentence. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“Really?” He comes around the sofa and walks towards her, and Rey notices that he’s dressed nicely. Very nicely. A light blue button down tucked into well-fitting slacks. He’s even combed his hair back from his face. “What about?”

“Um, just that I-” There’s a knock at the door, and Rey frowns. “Are you expecting someone?”

“Yeah.” Poe laughs awkwardly and rubs his hands on the front of his legs, as though wiping away something. “That’s probably Sarah.”

“Sarah?” Rey frowns, and then a memory comes rushing back. “Work Sarah? The one who asked you out?”

“The very same. Be right there!” He calls through the door, grabbing his coat. The response is muffled, but the voice is undeniably feminine, and a very nasty, snarling monster roars to life in Rey’s chest.

“I thought - I thought you said there was nothing there?” Rey blunders, eyes wide.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been inspired by you.” Poe fidgets with his shoelaces and stands up, smoothing his hands through his curls. Rey’s throat aches. Her chest aches. Her - “Seeing you putting yourself out there, day in and day out. Makes me think that maybe I should be giving it a try, too.”

“No, that’s actually what I wanted to-”

Another knock at the door cuts her off, and Rey forces the words back down, locks them up and throws away the key.

“You wanted to?” Poe’s hand is on the door, and Rey shrugs miserably.

“I wanted to tell you to have fun,” she mumbles, her face flaming. She can feel the sob building in her throat, and now she needs to hold it back until Poe’s safely out the door.

“Sunshine? Are you-”

Rey turns and walks towards her room, feeling ridiculous, and she can hear Poe opening the door and greeting Sarah - who’ll probably be Sarah Dameron, no doubt, and she and Poe can open their own zoo and raise adorable endangered animals together, and have a billion human babies too.

She closes her door firmly and shoves her head under the pillow and cries so hard she thinks she might actually feel her heart break.

***

Her eleventh date starts out alarmingly well.

She and Poe did not talk about his date with Perfect-Sarah-From-The-Zoo. He came back before midnight, alone, thankfully, and Rey was on the couch, pretending that she hadn’t been sitting there for two hours, since she sobbed her last sob (she also pretended like she hadn’t put ice packs under her eyes to make it less clear that she’d cried her heart out for an hour).

He shrugged when she asked him about it, saying something non-committal about it being pretty good, and when he sat down in the armchair, Rey realized how _very much she couldn’t handle this_ and went to bed, ignoring his concerned voice saying her name as she disappeared into her room.

So, the next evening, when she emerges for her date with Armitage, she hardens her heart as much as possible, and ignores the mean little voice inside of herself telling her she has no business being jealous of the dates of a man who isn’t interested in her, especially when she goes on dates all the time now.

“Don’t wait up,” she says cheerfully, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

“What?” Poe looks up at that from where he’d been reading something on his tablet.

“I was kidding.” Rey shrugs and puts what she hopes is a brave face on. “We can’t all be lucky with our dates like you are.”

“Look,” Poe sighs and stands up. “Rey, I need to talk to you about that.”

Very fortuitously, there’s a knock on the door. Poe freezes with his mouth still open, his tablet loose in his hand. Something very similar to guilt churns in Rey’s stomach, and her grin is probably demented.

“That’s probably Armitage!” She adjusts her hair in the mirror near the front door. “How do I look?”

She’s wearing a dress, today, something new for her.

“Fine.” Poe sounds strangled. “I thought you usually met your dates-”

“Elsewhere?” Rey smirks at him, praying that the evil little goblin that’s come to life in her chest isn’t showing itself through her eyes. “Well, yeah, I was trying to respect your space. But, Sarah came here, so I figured it was fine.” Poe’s face crumbles, and she does not have time to analyze that, not when there’s another knock. “Shit. Gotta go.”

She leaves without looking back.

The first few minutes of the date, Rey is not much herself. But, Armitage is funny, and charming, and she relaxes slightly, and then all the way.

He’s very good-looking, even better than his photo, where he’d had slicked-back hair and shadows under his eyes.

“That was after a play,” he laughs in a British accent not unlike her own. “So much stage makeup. But I was told it was ‘hauntingly dashing.’”

“It wasn’t bad,” Rey teases. He grins at her, and it’s not the best grin she’s ever seen, not full enough, or dimpled enough, or framed by scruff enough, but it’s alright.

They talk for about two hours before they even decide to get food, and Rey has a reluctantly good time.

Afterwards, he offers to walk her home the five blocks.

“But don’t you live that way?” Rey points east, and Armitage shrugs.

“I could call you an Uber?” He offers, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “It just feels strange, letting you walk home alone. Ungentleman-like.”

“Well, then.” Rey gestures for him to put his phone back in his pocket. “Let’s go?”

When they reach her apartment, she hesitates for a moment. She hasn’t had a date where she’s even considered kissing them goodnight - she’s considered _smacking_ them goodnight - but Armitage is charming in a way she isn’t used to. She isn’t sure if she likes it, but it’s new enough to distract from the growing pit of despair inside her.

He makes the decision of what to do next easier, though. “Shoot.” He frowns at his phone. “It’s dead.” Armitage looks up from the blank screen hopefully. “Could I charge this really fast? Just enough to get home?”

“Sure.” Rey shrugs and gestures to the entrance. “Come on up. My roommate’s probably going to be in there.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Armitage promises, and it’s with the knowledge that Poe is always, always waiting for her after a date that Rey climbs the stairs without a hint of anxiety. Normally, she’d balk at letting a virtual stranger into her home, but with Poe there, it’s not like anything weird can happen.

But, when she opens the door, the TV is off, and there’s no one in sight. It’s not even ten o’clock, and while Poe’s not really a night owl, it’s odd that he’s not here. _He must be on another date with Sarah,_ Rey realizes with her gut sinking. Armitage is waiting for her to move out of the way, so Rey lets him in and grabs her charger from the front table.

“Here you go,” she says as cheerfully as possible, plugging it into the kitchen counter outlet, far away from the living room and its comfortable seating. “Charge away!”

Armitage smiles at her strangely (she was probably being awkward), and plugs his phone in. After a few seconds of the whirling charging icon, the little apple appears, and Rey breathes a secret sigh of relief. She’d told Armitage Poe was here, and while he’s probably _not,_ Armitage has no way of knowing that.

However, her relief is short lived. Armitage looms over her suddenly, and without warning, tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. Rey doesn’t really like that.

“So.” He smiles at her, and it’s not predatory - Rey knows the difference - but it’s too comfortable. “I had a really great time tonight.”

“Me too.” Rey smiles at him, a little on edge. She doesn’t want to kiss him, she’s decided. Maybe on a second date, but not right now, not when her stomach is churning at the thought of Poe on his own date. “Maybe when your phone is charged, you can text me and set up another date?”

It’s a hint that whatever was going on this evening is now officially done, but Armitage doesn’t seem to pick up on it.

“Mhm.” His hand is lingering in her space. “Or, maybe, I could text you that tomorrow?”

_Down, boy._

Rey shakes her head and smiles in what she hopes is a sweet way, but she’s never been good at concealing the daggers in her eyes. “No, I think it’s best that you not-”

He swoops in to kiss her, and Rey barely dodges it. “No. No thank you,” she says firmly and clearly. “Really, I had a lovely time, but I am not into that kind of thing on a first-”

“Come on.” Armitage wheedles, and Rey rolls her eyes. He’s definitely not getting a second date. “Just a kiss, then?” He pouts at her, and Rey sighs heavily. The guy probably weighs less than a hundred and seventy pounds soaking wet, and Rey can deadlift that much. She might just have to kick his ass, after all.

“No.” She shrieks slightly when he swoops in anyway, like an annoying bird of prey, and Rey startles back. “I said _no_ -”

A door bangs open behind her, and she barely has time to turn around - she does catalog the look of shock on Armitage’s face - to see Poe storming out in his pajamas.

She opens her mouth to apologize for waking him up, only slightly unsettled by Armitage’s rudeness, when Poe moves past her and grabs Armitage roughly by the front of his shirt.

“No” - he yanks Armitage forward and drags him away from Rey - “means _fucking no._ ”

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are,” Armitage growls, glaring down at Poe (and while there’s about a five inch height difference between them, it’s not even funny how much broader Poe is), “But we were just finishing up our date-”

“No.” Poe yanks Armitage’s phone from the charger without relinquishing his grip on the taller man. “No, you were just leaving.” He shoves the phone into Armitage’s hand and hauls him towards the front door, half pushing, half pulling him. “Get the fuck out of my home.”

He slams the door shut, breathing heavily, and turns around to see Rey, glued where she was standing in absolute shock, staring at him. “Did he hurt you?” Poe demands, and Rey shakes her head, still dumbfounded. She must not have moved her head enough because Poe walks towards her, his expression anxious. “Shit, talk to me, please?”

“It was fine,” Rey says honestly, blinking rapidly as though trying to wake up. _Is this some kind of weird dream?_ “I - he didn’t scare me.”

Poe’s expression falters, and Rey sees a hint of staggering vulnerability. “Did _I_ scare you?” He drags his hands through his hair. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to get so rough, I just heard you saying no, and I heard you scream-”

“I was just surprised.” Rey holds onto her left elbow awkwardly with her right hand and shrugs. “But thank you. You got him out of here a lot faster than I would have been able to. Men listen more to men.” She gives him a half-smile, and Poe nods, not looking any happier.

“You gotta stop this,” Poe says abruptly, and Rey gives him a weird look. “Like. I’m not saying...stop dating because that’d be fucked up, even if I didn’t-” His hands pull through his hair again, and Rey stares at him, wondering what the end of that sentence was going to be. “But these guys have all been _awful._ Like, just the fucking worst. And you deserve better.”

“It’s not like that,” Rey begins hesitantly, but trails off. What if Poe’s happy with Sarah? What if her telling him that Jess sort of only bet her this - but she freezes because _Rey remembers now._

Rey _remembers_ that this damn bet started when at the bar when Jess said if _Rey didn’t tell Poe how she felt right that second, Jess would sign her up for Tinder and make her go on twelve dates so she could see how perfect Poe really was._ And Rey had insisted that she already knew that, and she had no problem calling Poe up right then and there at the bar to tell him she _loved_ him, but when Poe picked up, Rey had talked to him about cookie dough, and he sweetly accused her of being drunk, and Jess had been smirking smugly by the time Rey hung up (and when she got home that night, Poe had three kinds of cookie dough ready for her to eat, which had only made her want to cry).

“It’s not like what?” Poe clearly is done waiting for her to finish, so he prods her, gently, concern still in his eyes. “What’s it like?”

 _I’m a coward,_ she wants to say.

Instead, Rey shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. “I - I can’t.” She turns and runs from the kitchen, slamming her door to her bedroom shut behind her, and she pretends not to hear Poe knocking anxiously at her door less than a minute later.

 _One more date,_ she tells herself, when Poe returns to his room (but not before whispering _I’m here if you need me, Sunshine,_ through her closed door).

Just one more date, and she can be done with this.

Too bad she has no idea what to do with her feelings for Poe, who probably has a perfect, lovely girlfriend by now.

 


	2. The Twelfth Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey goes on the last date to fulfill her bet with Jessika.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pining!
> 
>  
> 
> (All the smut is at the end, and it starts after "And what do you want?”)

Poe doesn’t bring The Incident up the next day, which Rey is endlessly thankful for. If he’d asked, she might have had to confess the whole situation to him, and at that point, the very basic, not so basic fact that she’s in love with him might have slipped out.

She can’t really deny it anymore - you don’t really have wiggle room to lie when you cry for three hours at the thought of your roommate on a date with someone who isn’t you.

Rey’s screwed, and as soon as this Tinder farce is over and done, she’s going to have to come clean.

Jessika comes over around eleven that morning, a rare morning that they all have off, but with Christmas just a few days away, it’s a happy coincidence. They curl up on the couch, and Poe sits in his armchair, and they watch television and definitely don’t talk about how the eleventh date had gone (Jess had tried, but Poe’s face had caused her gleeful grin to falter, and she’d mercifully let the subject drop).

But, around one, Jess steals Rey’s phone and starts flipping through Tinder.

“Ooo, Rey, look at this one!”

Rey grunts, her chin propped up on her fist; when she looks over at Jess, her smirk is downright ornery. “Not today, Jess.”

“But, _Rey_ -” Jess shoots her a meaningful look. “Won’t this be your... _twelfth_ date this month?”

“Mhm. And I’m fine waiting ‘til the New Year to have another mortifying experience, thanks.”

“But, _Rey-_ ”

“Jess, she said no.” Poe’s face is bright red, and Jess and Rey both look at him in surprise. “If she doesn’t want to go on another awful date, she doesn’t have to.”

“Fine.” Jess huffs and glares at Rey, and Rey at least knows that she sort of _does_ have to go on this awful date, to finish out the bet. But, she’s tired of bad dates, and she’s tired of lying to everyone in her life who isn’t Jess, and she’s just too tired to go on a date today. That is, until Jess slides her phone back towards her.

“...Is it still a no?”

Rey rolls her eyes and picks up the phone, and then her jaw literally drops. Funny, she always thought that was just a metaphor. “No way.”

“What way?” Poe asks warily. Rey doesn’t answer him, and instead stares at Jess and then back down at the picture.

“Right?” Jess scoots closer to her, proud as a peacock. “And you were about to give up.”

“I can’t believe” - Rey’s fingers hover over the screen - _swipe right_? She wonders wildly, examining the photo in front of her - “...I mean, what are the odds?”

“So slim.”

“I’m sorry, but what can’t you believe?” Poe repeats, leaning forward off his armchair, his hands gripping his thighs, his brow furrowed.

“I know him.” Rey frowns at the profile and flips through it just to make sure, but yeah, of course- “We met in high school. He was a senior when I was a freshman.”

“What Rey _isn’t_ telling you is that she had a huge crush on him all through high school!” Jess sighs and flutters her eyelashes, pretending to swoon against Rey’s shoulder. “Ben Solo, as I live and breathe!”

“Ben?” Poe clears his throat in a dry-sounding cough. “Ben, like, The Ben? The one you told me about?”

Oh right, she had talked about him. _The boy next door, the perfect boy, the one who got away_ \- Rey had been enamored with him for four years, and now she couldn’t remember a single personality trait of his, other than rich. She’s about to tell Poe this, the fact that after seven years, she barely remembers Ben, when Jess leans over and swipes right for her.

“There you go!” Jess grabs her wine from the coffee table and smiles proudly. “Done and done.”

“Jess!” Rey squirms uncomfortably. Her crush on him had been beyond noticeable, and had gotten her teased on more than one occasion - and as Ben was friends with her family (named for her grandfather, no less), he was inescapable throughout her awkward adolescence. “God, he’s never going to-”

“You’re a match!” Jess bounces up and down, tugging on Rey’s arm. “He’s already messaged you! He swiped right right back!”

“I’m not looking.” Rey clicks her phone off and throws it away from her. “Nope.”

“Are you kidding me? This is fate! You crushed on him for all of puberty, and Tinder throws him your way now that you look like this” - Jess gestures vaguely at Rey’s body - “And you aren’t going to tap that? Poe, tell her she’s being ridiculous!”

Poe’s sitting with his legs and arms crossed almost defensively, and he’s glaring at the Christmas movie blaring on the TV. At the sound of his name, he glances over, still scowling. “Huh?”

“I said, tell Rey she should message him back! It was like less than two minutes, he’s totally interested in her.”

The look Poe gives Rey is searching, and she just smiles at him - honestly, she doesn’t need to message Ben Solo, not when her favorite person is sitting right here. And she’s starting to think that Poe’s weird reaction to this right now, and his weird behavior the last few weeks are a sign that maybe her feelings aren’t as unreturned as she fears.

Then, he shrugs with one shoulder, and Rey’s hopes shatter.

“Rey can do whatever she wants.”

Poe goes back to watching the movie, and Rey feels like she wants to vomit.

“Alright!” Jess is tugging on her arm again, and Rey picks up the phone, feeling as though she’s looking at herself from a great distance, and opens up the app one more time.

 _Hey! Long time, no see,_ Ben’s written.

Rey types quickly, rotely. She doesn’t really care what she’s saying - whatever this ends in, date or no date, she still has to get through one more stupid date and then she can spend the foreseeable future watching Poe go on dates with Perfect Sarah From the Zoo.

_Yeah, it’s been a minute. How’ve you been. Are you in Chandrila right now?_

“There. He probably just wants to catch up before he leaves-”

The phone chimes again, and Rey stares at it in shock. Jess hoots in excitement, and Poe doesn’t even look over. With her jaw set, Rey continues messaging Ben.

“He wants to see me,” she reports to an eager Jess. “Says he’s free tonight.”

“Tonight’s the night!” Jess jumps up from the couch. “Let’s go get you ready! Maybe you can finally use those condoms I bought you!”

“Jess, he’s an old family friend,” Rey laughs anxiously, her stomach curling unpleasantly at the thought of sex with anyone, anyone who wasn’t... _oh shit._

Jess doesn’t seem to notice her hesitation, and is already barreling towards the bedroom. “Ask him where you’re going, and I’ll pick something out for you.”

“She has more fun with these than I do,” Rey says aloud, mostly for herself. She doesn’t think Poes listening anymore, too engrossed in the movie; so, she’s surprised when he responds.

“Then why go?” His brown eyes are serious when he regards her, and if she looked carefully enough, she’d say he looked almost upset.

“Why not?” She challenges him, hoping that those two words relay enough. Then, her anger surges, anger at the whole stupid situation, and she almost snaps _why do_ you _have to date other people?_ But she’s spared by her phone ringing. “Sorry. This is-”

“Ben.” Poe finishes for her, and she nods, putting the phone to her ear. She waves at Poe dispiritedly and disappears down the hallway.

“Rey?”

“Hey, Ben,” she squeaks. “What’s up?”

“Look, this is kind of...weird, but I wanted to call and let you know-”

“You can’t go tonight?” Rey isn’t sure if she’s hopeful or dreading his answer, and she squints at the photo of her and Poe at trivia night that’s framed on the wall in front of her.

“No! No, I can, but uh - God, I had reactivated Tinder after my girlfriend and I broke up, but she called me a few hours ago and said she wanted to give things another go. I was just on Tinder to cancel another date I’d made when you popped up, and I honestly do want to catch up. But, I don’t want you to be misled or anything-”

It’s relief that courses through Rey; and even more intensely because _everyone_ thinks this is a date, so it still counts as her twelfth one. She can do this, with no strings attached.

“No! No, that’s so fine, I was about to delete Tinder too.” And that’s the absolute truth. “I was so excited to see your face pop up!”

“Okay, good! My mom says you’re an engineer now! That’s so cool. And I guess it makes sense, you were always tinkering with stuff in the garage when I was over.”

Rey grins, and laughs awkwardly. Poe passes by her, shuffling towards his door, hands crammed in the pocket of his sweatshirt, and Rey scoots to the wall to give him room. “Slow down slugger, save some of that for tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m not that good with small talk. I’m sure you remember. Gotta save the good ones for when I actually see you!” Rey laughs again in response, feeling lighter now that there’s an end in sight -

Poe’s door slams, and the photo of them rattles ominously.

***

Rey waits in the kitchen about five minutes before the agreed-upon time, and she fidgets with the hem of the cute dress Jess had picked out for her (still rattling on about how Rey is _so_ going to get laid). While she’s waiting, Poe slouches out of his bedroom and heads to the fridge.

“Hey.” She smiles at him, and honestly, she can’t wait for this date to be over - as excited as she is to see Ben again - because then she can tell him everything (just, maybe not the part where she’s in love with him, given how little he’d cared about her use of Tinder earlier). Jess had reminded her to keep quiet about it until after the date ended, and Rey’s trying not to have a mental countdown, but it’s ticking by anyway.

“Are you wearing makeup?”

Rey blinks at the unexpected, abrupt question, and giggles anxiously. “Uhm, yeah, Jess seemed to think it was a good-”

“You hate makeup.” Poe takes the orange juice out of the fridge and closes the door. He leans against it and frowns at her, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “I thought you did, at least.”

“I mean, I do.” Rey shrugs. “But, Jess-”

“Look, Jess is my friend too, but are you sure she’s … I don’t know, got your best interests at heart?” Poe tilts his head at her, his brow furrowed.

“Of course she does. She’s just...it’s complicated.”

“Complicated. Right.” Poe turns to the cabinet and wrenches it open, taking out a glass. He pours some juice into it and then taps on the counter. Rey can sense he has more to say, and sure enough, he turns back around, still glowering. “You’ve been acting so weird recently. It’s not like you to - to - I don’t know, do all” - he gestures at Rey - “this.”

“What, go on dates?” It’s true, it isn’t like her, but Rey feels irritated nonetheless. “Wear makeup? Look nice? Act like a girl for a change?”

“Exactly!” Poe turns beet red and starts to stammer. “N-no, I didn’t mean-”

“No, I think you did.” Rey shakes her head angrily and stalks to the front door. She’ll just meet Ben out front. “I really think you did.”

“Rey, I’m sorry,” Poe edges around the corner towards the front entrance, apology written all over his face, his stupid handsome face, and Rey might cry, which would ruin her stupid makeup.

“I’m sure.” She steps into her shoes (heels, because the Ben in her memory is very tall) and adjusts the strap of her purse. “I’m sorry if it’s weird for you that I’m trying new things, but this isn’t really about you.” _Yes it is._

“I know it isn’t.” Poe holds his hands out beseechingly. “Please don’t go-”

There’s a knock at the door, and Rey tosses her hair over the shoulder before opening it, a wide smile on her face that feels fake the second she puts it on.

“Ben!” He’s even taller than she remembers, and he’s dressed nicely, in slacks and a handsome peacoat.

“Hey!” She stands to the side to let him in, and Ben strides in, immediately holding his arms out for a hug. And honestly, Rey could really use a hug right now. She steps into it easily, and she can feel his laughter rumbling in his chest. “Oh, hey, wait, I got these for you!”

He hands her a beautiful bouquet of daffodils, and Rey beams at them. “My favorites! You remembered?”

“How could I forget, you and my dad were always in the garden together, and your side was swamped with them.” Ben looks like he’s about to ruffle her hair, the way he did when they were kids, so Rey sidesteps it, collects the flowers, and heads into the kitchen, blowing past Poe who’s frozen at the corner still.

“Oh, Ben, this is my roommate.” Rey waves an airy, blind hand behind her towards Poe. “Poe Dameron.”

“Nice to meet you,” she can hear Ben say, and Poe mumbles something back at him.

Rey fills a vase with water from the sink, and then pops the daffodils in, inhaling their sweet scent happily. She refuses to let Poe’s rude comment keep her down, and she skips past him to tap Ben on the shoulder. Both men look mildly relieved to not be talking to each other anymore. “Let’s go?”

“Yeah, sure.” They head out the front door, and Rey doesn’t even say goodbye to Poe, her feelings still smarting, but Ben does, with an ironic smile and a promise to have Rey back by eleven.

“That guy hates me,” Ben comments as they walk down the stairs towards his waiting car.

“I can’t imagine why.” Rey shrugs and slips her hand through Ben’s offered arm. “So, where to, Solo?”

***

Rey unlocks her door at 11:30 p.m., her cheeks still hurting from laughing so much. Ben had dropped her off out front, and waited until she let herself into the building, waving at him from the lobby, before heading off. He was planning on driving all night to get back to his soon-to-be-not-ex girlfriend.

Closing and locking the door behind her, Rey hums a strand of a Christmas song to herself while hanging up her coat, scarf, and purse. She does a little spin because she’s _free_ , she’s _done_ now, and her last date went better than all the rest, no doubt because she knew exactly how it was going to end, and had no uncomfortable expectations attached.

Feeling giddy, Rey spins again when she walks through the living room, giggling cheerfully. She gasps though, and clutches her chest, staggering, when Poe sits upright from where he’d been lying down on the couch.

“You scared me.” She frowns at him and keeps walking.

“Sorry.” His voice is cracked, exhausted, and that gives her pause. Rey pivots and actually looks at him, and he looks pretty terrible.

“You sick?” She walks forward quickly, hand extended, intending to feel his temperature, and Poe makes no move to pull away when she reaches over the back of the couch to place the back of her hand on his forehead. His skin is flushed, but not fever-warm.

Up close, she can see that his eyes are red,  the shadows under them more noticeable than usual; her hands slides from the center of his forehead to his temple, and she cups the side of his face tenderly.

“Not sick,” Poe mumbles, and Rey nods. She doesn’t pull her hand away from his face, and the moments pass by awkwardly. Poe pulls away first, standing from the couch and walking around to stand next to her. “How was it?”

“Really good.” Rey sighs and smiles at him, hoping that their tension from earlier in the evening has fully passed. “I can definitely delete Tinder now.”

“This date went badly too?”

“No, no, it went really, really well. Best one yet.”

“Oh?” Poe takes a deep breath through his nose, his shoulders lifting and falling. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” Things feel wrong-footed again, and Rey squirms uncomfortably. “Do you wanna put up the tree tomorrow? It’s Christmas Eve already.”

“Huh?” Poe looks at her, and Rey frowns. It’s not like Poe to clock out of a conversation like that - she legitimately thinks he didn’t hear her.

“I said, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. Do you want to put up the tree in the morning?”

Poe shrugs. “Sure, I guess.”

“Come on.” Rey nudges his shoulder, easy enough as they’re sitting side by side on the back of the couch and the same height. “You love Christmas.”

“I guess I’m just not feeling it this year.”

“What? That’s impossible. You’re like, the spirit of Christmas.”

Poe laughs dryly but doesn’t comment, so Rey bumps her shoulder against his again.

“Come on, what can I do to make your Christmas better? How can we make your heart grow three sizes?”

“I’m not the Grinch,” Poe protests. “It’s just...been a rough season.”

“Really?” Rey cocks her head and frowns. Other than the last few days, Poe’s seemed pretty cheerful this December. “There’s gotta be something I can do to make your Christmas better.”

When Poe doesn’t answer, Rey slides off the back of the couch and sighs. “Well, let me know. You know where to find me.” It’s late, after all, and sad Poe means sad Rey - she’d almost prefer if he were still cranky because she’s way better with cranky than sad - and she’s going to put up the tree first thing in the morning whether or not Poe’s going to join her.

There’s a thump behind her, and Rey turns around, shocked to see Poe on his knees, looking up at her imploringly.

“What are you doing?”

“I know what I want,” Poe says weakly. “For Christmas. To make it better. But it’s selfish.”

“Stand up,” Rey whispers, leaning forward and tugging on his arm. “Come on, you’re worrying me.”

“For Christmas,” Poe says, wrapping his fingers lightly around her wrist, drawing her attention to his face - his eyes are wide and bright, shining with unshed tears. “I don’t want you to go on anymore dates.”

“What?” Rey tugs on his arm again, and Poe stands up unwillingly, groaning in the back of his throat. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t want you to go on another date, unless it’s with me.” Poe drags his hands over his face and through his hair. “It sounds so, so shitty, but _fuck_ it. I’m - I can’t hold it back anymore. I want you to choose me, not one of those assholes on Tinder. And I’m glad your date was nice because you deserve to go on good dates, but is it so bad - is it so wrong that I want to be the person who takes you on nice dates? And not Ben Solo?” She swears he mutters _tall bastard_ under his breath, but she can’t focus on that, not when her stomach’s dropped out.

“Poe, I” - she swallows hard, trying to figure out what’s happening - “But you’re with Sarah now.”

“What?” Poe blinks at her, and then an incredulous smile forms on his face. “Sarah?”

“Your girlfriend, Sarah,” Rey clarifies, eyebrows raised. “You went on a date with her just last week.”

“That date was over in an hour, I just dicked around with Finn for a few hours afterwards so you wouldn’t know what a loser I was. It took Sarah about five minutes to figure out that I was in love with someone else.”

“Why would I think you’re a -” Rey freezes mid-sentence, the other part of what Poe had said catching up to her. “...What?”

Poe’s smile is both gentle and nervous. “I said, Sarah figured out that I was already in love.”

“Love?” Rey feels like a broken record, but her heart’s still trying to figure out how to keep going.

“Love.” Poe steps in a little closer, anxiety roiling off of him. “And...I know it’s a lot, but it’s Christmas, and you’re supposed to say how you feel at Christmas, so this is me, throwing my hat in the ring. I can’t join Tinder - I fucking thought about it a hundred times, about what would happen if I popped up while you were swiping, would you choose me then? - but I can tell you, now, that … I’m a candidate. I want to be a candidate. I want to take you on a date, and show you that I can be … I can be good at this. I can be boyfriend material. And it’s probably weird to think of me like that, which is why I’ve waited for so long to tell you, because I value your friendship so much, and-”

“Poe.” Rey interrupts him gently. “Stop talking.” He nods and clears his throat, ducking his head; she can see that the tips of his ears are red.

“Sorry.” He shakes his head and doesn’t look up. “It’s - I’m being stupid, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re being a little stupid,” Rey concedes, and Poe laughs quietly. He looks like he’s accepting defeat, his shoulders slumped, and expression sheepish when she ducks a finger under his chin to lift it. “Because you aren’t even waiting to hear what I have to say.”

“Yeah, of course.” Poe smiles ruefully. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“You’re bossy.”

“A little,” Rey says. “But only to people I love.” His expression doesn’t get any less _wistful,_ so Rey rolls her eyes. “I’m in love with you, too. Idiot.”

“Oh.” Poe blinks, and she realizes he hadn’t honestly thought of this option, and to be fair, she never would have thought he’d confess his love to her either, so it’s only fair.

“We’re both idiots,” she realizes aloud. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Poe’s still very close, and Rey realizes something else - she feels that thing that people always talk about in raunch novels. The need for _more._ More...something. Poe helps her come to a conclusion on it pretty quickly, though. “One idiot to another, though: Can I kiss you?”

“Mhm.” Rey nods dreamily, wondering if this _is_ a dream, and Poe lifts a slightly trembling hand to cup her cheek. _Poe is about to kiss her,_ she thinks, _her roommate is about to kiss her, and no, wait, he’s kissing her._

Poe’s lips are slightly chapped and warm, and he gets the angle right on the first try. Rey’s hands curl in his t-shirt, over his broad chest, and she delights in the way his other hand comes up to delicately frame her face, his thick fingers curling under her jaw. This deepens the kiss, and Rey sighs into it, then squeaks when Poe’s tongue slips into her mouth - and it’s only a brief moment of weirdness, of _Poe’s tongue, in her mouth, he once bet her she couldn’t eat a three foot Slim Jim in under two minutes and recorded her on his phone_ \- but then his tongue strokes against hers in a way that’s somehow lazy and urgent, and it’s all she can do to keep standing.

They break apart, both panting, and Rey licks her bottom lip, already missing Poe’s mouth on hers, her skin slightly tingling from his stubble. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” Poe nods and leans back in. “Wow.” The next kiss involves Poe’s hands at her waist and back, pulling her flush against him, and Rey carding her fingers through his curls. She realizes about a minute in that she’s grinding against him in a way that’s less than subtle, and she gasps in shock.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-” She babbles, breaking the kiss off to apologize, her face flaming red.

“Don’t be sorry.” Poe’s hands are still firm on her body, so reassuring and strong even through her dress, and Rey’s mind flashes forward to what they’ll feel like on her bare skin, and immediately she feels her body respond to the image. It doesn’t help that Poe’s voice is rougher than she’s ever heard it, or that his pupils are blown wide and he’s looking at her like she’s something he wants to devour. “We can stop here, though, if you want.”

“And what do you want?” Rey asks curiously, her heart hammering in her throat from how badly she wants this, and how wonderful it is to kiss Poe. In fact - she leans forward and kisses him again just because she _can_ , apparently.

“I wanna take you to bed.” Poe kisses her and then noses along her jaw to dot kisses down her throat. Rey grabs his arms and gasps, her hips surging forward with very little chance of making contact with anything, something she hopes Poe rectifies soon. “I’ve wanted this for so long, wanted you. I want to see if you taste as good as I’ve dreamed, want to lay you down” - he slots a leg between hers, as he crowds her against the wall, and Rey whines, grinding down on his thigh without shame - “Show you how much I want you” - he does _something_ with his thigh that has Rey jolting, his lips still insistent on her neck, dizzying points of pleasure that she has no frame of reference for - “How much I love you.”

“Okay.” Rey nods, rapidly, and Poe laughs into her skin. “I want that too, let’s do that.”

“Yeah.” Poe relinquishes his grip on her, and Rey steps away from the wall to kiss him eagerly, her arms around his neck, her chest pressed against his. He groans in response, and they stumble backwards, into the hallway. “Mine or-”

“Yours.”

She’s been in Poe’s room dozens of times, if not more, over the course of a year, but it feels different when he lays her down on his bed and starts to kiss her again, balancing on his palms, his hips a few inches from hers. She tugs on his belt loops impatiently, but Poe ignores her at first, until she pulls on the hem of his shirt, exposing his back to her wandering hands.

His shirt is the first thing to go, and once they wrestle it over his head, his curls springing back impossibly messy after they escape the collar, Rey starts in on his belt buckle. Poe kneels for it, and Rey sits up, her body thrumming with the knowledge that she’s the one making the muscles of Poe’s stomach jump like this, she’s the one sliding his belt free, slowly. She watches his face hungrily the whole time as she tugs on the leather, and Poe stares back down at her, his lips parted and eyes wild.

After the belt hits the floor with a dull clunk, Poe kisses her again, leaning down to kiss her filthily, his tongue hot and heavy in her mouth, and Rey surrenders to it happily. “Your turn?” He asks in a low voice, tracing the now-hitched-up hem of her dress. Rey nods, and they pull it free together, Poe’s hands gentle, but his eyes undoubtedly excited.

He curses quietly when she’s bare in front of him, and Rey remembers a second too late that she’d skipped a bra.

“I didn’t feel like wasting cute underwear,” she explains awkwardly, regretting the old cotton pair she’s wearing. “Didn’t think anyone would be seeing it.”

“Fuck, that makes me happy to hear,” Poe laughs, and Rey laughs too. “I’ve been out of my mind with jealousy, Sunshine, you have no idea.”

They fall back to the bed together, and Rey whispers against his mouth, “I have some idea.”

“Yeah?” Poe nuzzles a series of kisses into her collarbone, each one with more force than the last, and Rey scratches her blunt nails down his back. “You do?”

“Mhm.” She snorts and stares at the ceiling, unsure if she’s blushing or if her whole body’s just on fire. “Cried my eyes out when you went on that date.”

Poe stills above her, and Rey realizes foreplay probably isn’t the best time to bring up something so heavy. She winces - while she’s not a virgin, she doesn’t do this whole sex thing that often, as she rarely has the inclination - when Poe studies her face with concern in his eyes. “What?”

“Yeah.” She shrugs and trails her hand down his side, pleased to discover that he jumps slightly halfway down his ribcage. She catalogs that information for later. “Thought my stupid heart had broken.”

“It didn’t mean anything.” Poe kisses her gently, and the pace changes slightly. His hips are firmly nested over hers now, and Rey moans at the feeling of his chest against hers, broad muscle and heated skin. “Fuck, I was just trying to-”

“I know.” Rey smiles at him sheepishly. “I should probably mention. I was only going on those dates because I lost a bet with Jess.”

“You _what_?” Poe looks horrified, and Rey rolls her eyes.

“Talk later,” she insists. Poe nods agreeably and returns to kissing her collarbone. “Kiss now. Fuck now.”

“Fuck in a few,” Poe corrects, his fingers slipping along the flat planes of her stomach. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to have my way with you first.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Rey smirks at him, but then she gasps, and then moans, as his fingers slip over her. “Oh, _fuck._ ”

“That’s the idea.” Poe’s mouth travels the same path his right hand had, and his left hand stays up at her breast, teasing her gently as he dives in.

 _Why haven’t we been doing this for a year?_ Flashes across Rey’s mind deliriously, right around the second orgasm, her legs thrown over Poe’s shoulders by the man himself.

He looks far too pleased with himself when he clambers back up to smirk at her, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, and Rey gives herself three more seconds to be boneless before kissing him roughly and using the element of surprise to flip him on his back.

“Is this okay?” She double checks, hovering over his leaking cock. She’s more than a little flattered that making _her_ happy made him _this_ happy.

“Mhm.” Poe squeaks in response, and his head slams back against the pillows a second later. “F-fuck.” Within a few minutes, he taps her shoulder. “I’m okay with doing this, but I’d much rather...you know.”

“Make love to me?” Rey teases, wiping her mouth. Poe’s fingers curl around her jaw, much more gentle than they’d been in her hair a minute ago.

“Yeah.” His brown eyes are soft but burning, and Rey feels something tug in her gut.

“Okay.”

They kiss again, side by side, and much slower than before, Poe’s cock pressed between them, soft but hard against her stomach. Eventually, she rolls onto her back, content to let Poe take the lead this time because she trusts him so much - historically, she’s been a cowgirl-only type, but a small, tiny, unconquerable part of herself wants Poe Dameron to take care of her because she knows he’ll be good to her - and when Poe reaches for the bedside table, she shivers in anticipation.

He shivers too when he kneels up to unwrap the condom, and Rey has to help him with it because his fingers are trembling again. She kisses his hands sweetly before taking the foil square and ripping it open, and she hands him the condom with a soft smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” Poe marvels, looking down at her as he gets ready. “I can’t believe this is real.”

“Me either.” Rey hooks her foot behind his back, right above the swell of his ass, and tries to pull him in. He goes easily enough, and he kisses her for another minute, his hips moving in lazy circles against hers, before he guides himself to her.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispers into the quiet-dark of his bedroom, and Rey melts a little more against his rumpled sheets as he fills her entirely. “So, so in love with you.”

“I love you too.” She rubs her nose along his cheek, her fingers curled against his shoulders.

They set an unhurried pace, and Rey, typically more interested in just chasing pleasure to the very end, settles into it with a pleased sigh, Poe’s lips frequently at her temple, her jaw, her throat. Her hands curve around his ass and encourage the gentle rocking motions of his hips into hers, and she admires the way the moonlight from his window casts silvery shadows around the room and against his golden skin.

A thumb brushes over her, and Rey comes without warning, and it feels different than normal, an unspooling that shivers through her, leaving her warm and sated underneath Poe; he finishes not too long after, his hips stilling, and she can see his mouth open in a pretty _o_ of surprise, his eyes shut as he pauses in his movement.

She spreads a few kisses along his neck, humming contentedly, and neither one makes an effort to move or talk at first, just trading kisses in the dark, heartbeats settling into normalcy.

They head to the bathroom to clean up, and Poe hands her a t-shirt to wear. She could run away, escape across the hallway to her bedroom, but she needs to be next to him some more, and when he holds his arms out to her when they re-enter the bedroom, Rey tucks herself in to his embrace and hopes that he never asks her to leave.

Eventually, they settle in under the comforter, and Rey slips her feet between Poe’s calves, relishing in the warmth while he hisses at how cold her toes are.

“Wanna tell me about that bet now?” He asks sleepily, after he’s kissed her a dozen more times. Rey smiles at him and does.

Halfway through, she pauses in her story to twist in bed and reach for the bedside table - Poe grumbles a complaint and slings an arm around her waist, trying to tug her back - and grabs her phone to delete Tinder, once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is for "Day 13" of Damerey December - I'm a few days behind, meep! Hopefully you'll see a whole stack of updates today - one of which won't be filed as part of the series because it's an update to an existing WIP, the chapter of which is set at Christmas)


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